Directed by:
Mel Gibson
Writing credits:
Mel Gibson
Tina Turner
Buzz Aldrin
Genre:
Fantasy / Horror / Space Adventure (more)
Tagline:
A mysterious prophecy. A magic story. An enchanted glove. And an adventure that’s… out of this world.
Plot Outline:
Willy Wizard is a boy born to a normal family of non-wizards. But one day, he awakens to find a magical glove inserted into his rectum. From that day forth, he knew he was special. After being randomly selected for NASA’s first public space flight… (more) (view trailer)
User Comments:
“Some of the dragons in this film were OK but I prefer normal dragons without computers attached to their spines that control satellites or anything. Overall I would give this a 6 out of 10 for its unrealistic representation of dragons. However just having a dragon in there in the first place saves it from a 3 out of ten. (Dragons RULE.)” - DrAgOnStArX
“Aldrin’s influence on the script is very confusing. Why does the setting suddenly change from the fantasy realm of Fantasmia to the Mir Space Station?” - Robert Crantz
“wizurds r gay” – fUxxor
“wud b okay if ther wz more than one staking but unfortunately seeing as only one person gets staked thru the heart (and that was an accident) then i wont be renting this movie or even watching it again.” -vampHUNTER
“Why so much swearing in a PG film? MY uncle nearly fainted. And he’s a sailor.” Margaret Smoithens
… (more)
User Rating:
2/10 (6000 votes)
Credited cast:
Willy Wizard
Keifer Sutherland
Bob Snaggard
Donald Sutherland
Darleen Snaggard
Elizabeth Shue
Esmerelda Nine-teets
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Chris Dralcor
Justin Timberlake
Noblewing the Dragon
Stephen Hawkings (Voice)
Gary the Giant
Paul Daniels
Caveman Sue
Debbie McGee
Troll #2
R Kelly
Salazar
Craig David
Prince Zorquot
Danny de Vito
(more)
Also Known As:
Supa Magic Wizado Hand Life(JPN)
Ting tar er fee Shao Zong Xie Fang Siu (CHN)
Runtime:
IRELAND: -113 min
NORTH PEMBROKESHIRE: 68 min
Country:
UK / PRE-BERLIN WALL EAST GERMANY
Language:
English / Mormon
Memorable Quotes:
Willy Wizard: God I hate you normal people! Some times I think that I am secretly a wizard or something like that.
Bob Snaggard & Darleen Snaggard (speaking in unison): What no that is ridiculous .Just plain ridiculous now eat your pea soup and shut the fuck up.
Willy Wizard: I don’t even like pea soup. I wish you were DEAD!
(Bob Snaggard & Darleen Snaggard die in a flash of green sparks).
Willy Wizard (looking at green electricity sparking from between his fingers): HOLY SHITCUNTS!
……………….
Gary the Giant: Willy, I’m here to tell you that you are really a wizard.
Willy Wizard: Seriously?
Gary the Giant: For reals.
Willy Wizard: So could I, like, turn you into a frog?
Gary the Giant: Why would you want to do tha-
(flash of green sparks and then Gary the Giant is transformed into a giant penis with legs. )
Gary the Giant: Oh, bollocks.
Willy Wizard: Not bollocks, penis you fat cunt!
……………….
Noblewing the Dragon: Willy, do you see down there? That is the castle of Prince Zorquot the evil.
Willy Wizard: Whatever.
Noblewing the Dragon :Whatever? Willy, don’t you realise your destiny? That is the castle of the evil prince, and if you don’t stop him, well, Fantasmia could be destroyed…
Willy Wizard (trying to stab Noblewing in the eye with his magic wand): Shut the fuck up already you old piece of shit. Now take me back to the real world, I have an appointment with some assholes from NASA.
……………….
Chris Dralcor: So, Willy, do you think you can handle being in space?
Willy Wizard (eyes glazed over, staring at nothing, drool dripping down his face); YES… MASTER
Chris Dralcor (camera zooms in on his grinning face and he is rubbing his hands together): Excellent. Salazar! Prepare the Paininator. It’s time for Willy Wizard to meet… the Paininator.
Salazar (gasping so hard he inhales a bit of his beard): The… the Paininator?
Chris Dralcor (head whipping round towards Salazar): Is there… a problem, Salazar?
(Salazar cringes away and as he does so, his left arm falls off.)
Chris Dralcor: God. Just get out of my sight. Cunt.
……………….
Caveman Sue (floating through space in a space suit): WILLY! WILLY WAKE UP! YOU’VE GOT TO FIGHT THE FUCKING EVIL MAGIC THAT DRALCOR USED ON YOU!
Willy Wizard (grunting and fighting evil magic): GNRRRR gnnaaar… fucking shit… gnooooooooook… SKRLK
Caveman Sue: That’s it Willy! That’s it! Fight the magic! Harder Willy! Yes! Yes! Fucking harder Willy! Yes fuck yes!
Willy Wizard (shaking his head and opening his eyes): What the… what the fuck is going on shit!
Caveman Sue: Oh thank goodness! Willy, you’re alive!
Willy Wizard (flash of green sparks coming from his fingers): YES! I Was alive all the long just pretending! Now take THAT!
(cut to a close up of the faceplate of Caveman Sue’s space suit. She has been transformed into a giant penis with legs.)
Willy Wizard: In your face you old bag of arse!
……………….
Goofs:
- Incorrectly considered as mistakes: You cannot survive in the vacuum of space just by holding your breath. Unless you are a wizard.
– Continuity error: Willy Wizard is a half human, half wizard hybrid with human characteristics. However in scene 12 he briefly appears to be a young giraffe suckling on his mother’s teet.
– Revealing mistakes: In the scenes involving giants, all the extras are clearly children used to give the impression of size. This is made obvious because they have dummies in their mouths and spend most of the time vomiting, crying, or crapping in their pants and then playing with the crap, eating the crap, or fashioning the crap into crude representations of the people around them.
- Factual errors: Orangutans cannot make a successful living as hairdressers.
- Continuity error: Willy Wizard’s parents die at the beginning of the movie. However they appear three more times, notably during the final orgy scene.
- Factual errors: Stabbing a leper in the eye with a sharpened rod of cheese will not make your nemesis spontaneously burst into flames.
- Miscellaneous: Second-unit director Randall McTaggard often came to work smeared in urine and feces of unidentified origin.
- Factual errors: Grinding up wall tiles into dust and rubbing the dust in the hotel-clerk’s face is not a commonly accepted method of payment.
- Revealing mistakes: Characters paying for goods or services with small pieces of metal or flat sheets of paper with intricate designs.
- Revealing mistakes: Characters in the prehistoric scenes referring to each other as “dude” and playing wi-fi Nintendo DS games.
Insider Trivia:
– Melvin Smith (Editor) made his living editing pornographic films, which explains the constant soft-tint, seductive jazz music, and close-ups of penises thrusting into vaginas (or anuses) prevalent in the movie.
– Actor’s Trademark: Keifer Sutherland claiming “there’s no time”
– Willy Wizard’s magic wand was actually not magic at all.
– The character of salazar was initally to be played by a turnip
- A nod is not as good as a wink to a blind bat if the bat is touching your face with its claws or wings at the time
- in order to get a PG rating, all scenes involving chris dralcor anally penetrating Noblewing the Dragon were cut and replaced with scenes of a gunwhale headbutting a stoat.
- the gunwhaling society of greenland complained so vehemently about the headbutting scenes that they were replaced again with footage of somebody inhaling a piece of stilton through their nostrils.
- the society for inhaling stilton through your nostrils of northern ireland felt strongly that the scenes involving their sport were handled in terribly poor taste and gave people entirely the wrong impression about them. after campaigning for a number of months, the scenes involving people inhaling cheese through their noses were replaced with an endlessly repeating loop of a man losing his footing on a bridge and falling off, only to get his leg caught on a rusty nail and hang there, screaming for help.
- Flames: are really hot
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