Hollywood Sasquatch 3

Directed by: Colonel Gadafi
Writing credits: Pierre Jean Luke Picard Jr.
Dolph Lundgren (novel)

Genre: Action / Crime / Romance (more)

Tagline: The movie business is a jungle!
Plot Outline: The Hollywood Sasquatch (Van Damme) returns from the Australian Outback to the Sunset Strip, where he must take down a drug ring led by the flamboyant Ronaldo Flamingo. This time, he’s joined by Huey Lewis, a cross-dressing sassy prostitute with a bazooka for a leg! … (more) (view trailer)

User Comments: greatest sequel involving a Sasquatch ever! Big Foot and the Hendersons can suck my… (more)

User Rating: five out of five acorns 6.`/10 (4,816 votes)

Credited cast:
Jean Claude Van Damme …. Bryce Carmicheal / Captain Sasquatch
Cindy Lauper …. Huey Lewis / Howey Louise
Burt Baccarac …. Ronaldo Flamingo
Danny Glover …. Leutenant Sasquatch
Shaquel O Neill …. Sinbad
Lopez Cortega …. Puerto Rican bad guy no.7 .
Danny De Vito …. Captain Sasquatch Jr.

(more)

Also Known As: Crocodile Dundee 8 (UK) Sassy The Sasquatch and His Bonerific Friends (IRE)

Runtime: USA: 110 min

Country: USA

Language: English

Color: Color (sasovision)

Memorable Quotes:
…….

Bryce Carmicheal: Your really making me sassy, Flamingo. You wont like me when I’m sasquatchy!
Ronaldo Flamingo: Dont be a baby Bryce, or should I say Mr…Captain Sasquatch?
Bryce Carmicheal: Scumbag! Jungle friends unite! I’m going to roger you so badly Flamingo, I’m going to send you back to Columbia with an asshole like a clowns pocket!

…….

Bryce Carmicheal: Dont worry kids, me and my Jungle buddies are gonna give these guys a wizards sleeve like you wouldn’t believe.
Huey Lewis / Howey Louise: Jeezus.

…….

Leutenant Sasquatch: I bestow you with all the powers of the Sasquatch, use them wisely and only for good.
Huey Lewis / Howey Louise: Pffft what a crock of shit.
Captain Sasquatch Jr.:
Hey! Can it wench! Im gonna get my Dad to harpoon you with a Rhino.
Bryce Carmicheal: What… an… Honour…

…….

January edition of Spoon Collectors Wives with Dr Hobo

Good fortles and welcome to another edition of spoon collectors wives with Dr.Hobo. In this afternortlings edition I will be hosting a special interview with my estimed colleague MMABJJ Mr Martle bart P Benyortle the 12fth(matt). I must say that Im looking forward to getting an incite into the inner workings of his underpants even if he does wear them as some sort of cravat.

Well here we go:

1) In the late 80’s AFHUNGEXPART (Afro Hunfgarian Existential Poetry art movement) exploded onto the forehead of the public, what was your most memorable moment of that period. If you have one?

2.3) If you could be any item of cutlery what would you be?

3) If orange is cat and dog is tulip, what is curtl?

Q) How many fingers am I holding up?

5) Stockings or Garters?

fig 11b) Croydon, Discuss.

SECTION 12-ANAMORPHIC PRESSURE ) After making a lateral incision to the cortical hemisphere, the hamster nebula is clearly visible through the translucent lower membrane of the gooch or goochsh. name two other types of incision.

8 and 3/4s) I am 11 in 15 years, how tall am I?

nine) TANK TOPS – Wesley Snipes or Ronald Ragen.

10) Thou shalt not covert thy neighbours Donkey. What also shalt thoueth not covert?

Vi) Complete the following “if you —– an elephant you are obviously —–.”

11) Lader Hosen or Panteloons? Loot or flute? (for double points)

Well thanks for tuning in, thats all for this week, next week we’ll be taking a closer look at marbles and how they are grown in a small boys inner ear in devon.

So long and safe spooning!

Darstle-o-farple tarps family pack

We open on a man holding his bowels. Close up of his hands clutching his bowels accompanied by
Sound effect: a herd of stempeding marmosets and cowboys yiping and shooting their guns in the air.
Titles: The Harbour Town of Nerfarbadad Circa 1874.

Slow pan up to the mans miserable face.
Sound effect: An elephant trumpeting.
Voice over: “Inverted Guteral Tract?”

Man Nods.

Cut to an eight year old boy with a baseball cap on sideways, his hands clamped around his sternum. Close up of his hands holding his bowels now
Sound effect: A helicopter landing on a shed.
Titles: The spiritual birthplace of Neo Babylonian cuisine – 57AD.

Pan up to the boys sweaty face
Sound effect: Five shaven Chimpanzees stomping on a typewriter.
Voice over: “Prolapsed Sphincter?”

Boy Nods.

Wide angle to show the man and boy both clearly about to evacuate their bowels right the hell now (hard).
Voice over: “YOU NEED – Darstle-o-farple tarps family pack!”

cut to a man pumping up a bicycle tyre, changing spark plugs in a fridge, sharpening pencils in a forest, being chased by an enraged baboon, eating a cake on a log, fashioning a flute out of a wooden clog accompanied by
Voice over: “Simply pour the contents into a yaks bladder, bring to the boil, simmer, stir and serve in a Paleontologists master bedroom”

Boy states:
“Cock Farts – I shit em”

fade to naked.

Intergalactic Space Cops (Trailer)

Long, establishing shot of space. Black, stars, etc.
Cut to a futuristic rave party with people with computers attached to their heads headbanging to a bunch of robots playing guitars with three, no wait four necks, wailing hard and sparks are flying everywhere and everything.
Cut to a shot of a Intergalactic Space Cops Cruiser, with the camera sliding alongside the edge of this awesome vehicle flying through space. Then the camera zooms in on the cockpit. The person who is driving has a huge cowboy hat on, obscuring his face. His hands are massive, gripping the zebra-skin covered steering wheel. Futuristic country rock music blares from the speakers in the cockpit. Cut to a close up of the computer screen inside the cockpit which says in large, green digital letters WARNING WARNING ILLEGAL FUTURISTIC RAVE PARTY DETECTED WARNING WARNINGS.
Spinning cross fade pan to a close up of the driver’s mouth, which twitches and then smiles. “Party’s over, assholes…”
WHAM! the ship blasts into lightspeed and disappears off the screen.
FROM DIRECTOR RICHARD CRONGENBOURG slams into the screen bloody hard.
Quick cut back to the rave scene and now some people are rapidly inserting and removing hard drives, floppy disks and hyper-DVD’s into each other’s biomechanically-engineered buttholes in some kind of evil, futuristic orgy (with german techno music playing in the background.)
COMES A SPACE ADVENTURE THAT’s OUT OF THIS WORLD…
Suddenly the music goes quiet and the lights come on. All the partyers are like “Huh what the” then a sudden, quick zoom to the DJ booth where the robotic DJ’s head has been ripped off and sparks are coming out.
Frantic drumbeat starts playing as… STARRING STEVEN SEAGAL dribbles onto the screen and Seagal steps from the shadows AS LIEUTENANT BILL KILLSHART slams in to replace it.
Cut to surprised gasps from the audience, then back to Seagal who whips out a Desintegrizer gun and fires it at everyone in the room including innocent bystanders and a guy who just accidentally walked in the door. They all die in a sparking puddle of stuff.
Then a montage to the tune of We Will Rock you by queen plays in order to get you super pumped. quick cuts showing: Steven Seagal being blasted through space without a space suit or anything in a head-on collision with the sun, Seagal grabbing a bad guy’s hand with an aikido grip and then shoving it up the nearest bad guy’s nostrils until it comes out of his ear, seagal eating dinner in a restaurant on the moon and then headbutting a horse, Seagal whipping out a pair of handcuffs on a bad guy and then using them to beat him to death, somebody trying to push toothpaste back into a toothpaste tube (or “Choob”), close-up of a camel’s eyes and it is like “RAAAAH!” having camel rage or something and snorting pretty hard, random shots of the end of a lazer gun with “KAPOW” sound effects and red lazers coming out, split screen effect showing seagal running down a futuristic street really fast on one side and some robotic bad guys riding giant motorbikes on the other side, a donkey raping a goat, a couple eating cheese and win in the french countryside while a giant robot gets ready to stamp on them in the background, steven seagal sitting on the toilet typing on a laptop computer really fast then rubbing his chin, clicking his fingers and shouting “I GOT IT!” and laughing.
WATCH OUT, INTERGALACTIC CRIMINAL SCUM… slides in from the side of the screen
THRE’S A NEW COP ON THE BEAT
Shot of Seagal slowly walking down a futuristic street with a mechanical parrot on his shoulder.
LIEUTENANT BILL KILLSHART smashes into the screen so hard that your shoes fall off.
Fade to green and the words “COMING FALL 1987″ appear in sparkling silver text, then a sparkle of light runs around the edge of the text while a distorted power chord lingers with lots of reverb.