From the desk of Ruudy Chagrits, Hollywood Agent

Yo! Howy!

Listen, I got this freakin’ great idea for a movie, okay? Listen.

Picture it.

It’s the year 1999. The whole world is plunged into some kind of economic and cultural decay. Nobody is interested in soccer or football any more.

The big sport of the future is… Professional Headbutting.

Yeah, you heard me. Headbutting. Pretty hardcore, huh? I knew you would say that. Man I am slapping my thigh so hard right now YESSS!!!! 11

And who’s hot right now? Of course. Mr. Sylvester Stallone. And who else is hot? Corey Feldman. Man is he hot.

And what about that little kid with the hair that looks like a brain… Fred Savage… yeah.

So we got Arnold Stallone in the main role. He’s the current world Headbutting Champeen of the world. Then there’s Corey Feldman, the upcoming, wannabee, little shit kind of a guy. He’s got the natural talent at headbutting, but boy is he lazy. And he has a cute little butt. So he’s the guy that could do it if he really tried, but he doesn’t try that much. Except to tease me with that butt!

So where does Fred Savage come into all this? I hear ya, I hear ya.

Get this. Fred Savage is… Sylvester Swarchzenegger’s twin brother! Yeah. It was the Russians that did it. A cold war experiment gone wrong… the ultimate experiment. In headbutting!

Whoa- I think we got our tagline, Howy.

So Savage is the Soviet experiment gone wrong. Sylvarnold Stallonegger is the all-American good guy, headbutting. Corey Feldman is bringing up the rear as the love interest and wild-card.

And the scene is set for the greatest competition of them all, the WORLD INTERNATIONAL LEAGUE PRIME HEADBUTTING CHAMPIONSHIPS.

Yeah. The tournament is held once every 200 years… on a secret island in the phillipines. By invitation only, from ther mysterious Master Chang (I’m hoping to get that guy from Big Trouble in Little China to play Master Chang… you know… uh… Randy Quaid?)

Totally rad, huh?

So listen, it’s a deadset ace at the boxoffice.

I just need you to fork out the $20 billion for production costs and get me in touch with Corey Feldman’s butt.

Can ya do that for me Howy?

I’m salivatin’ here.

Yours,

Ruudy Chagrits.